Filmmaker Makes Dinner
the simple life of a cook-from-home artistArchive for filmmaking
On Rejection
A couple months ago, I was approached by an established film institution in NYC to apply for their first-time-filmmaker mentorship. Isn’t it flattering when you are sought after and acknowledged as worthwhile? Long story short, I didn’t make it.
I am an artist; I’m used to rejection—it’s part of the game. Not every opportunity turns out to be a good fit, but boy is it a bummer when you thought it was. So what does this rejection mean for me and the film? It means I keep bumbling through the process of making a film all by myself, and hopefully that bumbling turns into grace and ease.
I don’t hold onto many rejections—it’s too commonplace in the artistic process—but I do remember one that popped my burgeoning art bubble.
I made the above image last year after my video, Remake, was shortlisted for YouTube Play (a biennial of creative video organized by YouTube and the Guggenheim), but didn’t make the final round of judging. The worst part was not that I missed the chance to show my work in NYC at the spectacle that The Guggenheim called a “screening.” It wasn’t even that they sent me this ugly, over-sized shirt as a consolation prize. The worst of it was that the judges of the final round were Darren Aronofsky, Laurie Anderson, Marilyn Minter, Douglas Gordon, Stefan Sagmeister, among others.
Let’s take these one at a time…
First: I love the films of Aronofsky—what film-lover doesn’t? Nothing out of the ordinary there, really.
Next: I used to listen to Laurie Anderson’s albums while painting in college, and I saw her perform live. Still, not so noteworthy.
But there’s more: I wrote my Honor’s Thesis for my BFA on Marilyn Minter, and one of the primary artists in my Master’s Thesis was Douglas Gordon.
Getting weirder.
Finally: To put it over the edge, I supported Stefan Sagmeister’s Kickstarter project for his upcoming film, The Happy Film.
Considering my complex (albeit one-sided) relationships with all these judges, how did I NOT win first place?! Wasn’t the universe telling me that this was my opportunity to show my heroes all I could do?
Well, it was, but I guess they weren’t impressed! ;)
So here’s to rejection being no big deal. Here’s to turning that emotion into more art. Here’s to strengthening your resolve to keep making. Here’s to working even harder.
